E-DND
So, Neverwinter Nights II is nearly upon us…
Are you as excited as I am?
In fact I’m not very excited at all – there is no way on Obad Hai’s green earth my box will run the game, so there’s not much point in breathless anticipation – I suppose I will wait five years (by which time I may have a better computer) and pick it up on one of the bargain labels.
In any event, I recall the cross words which were traded regarding NWN. Some (your humble obedient included) liked NWN a great deal – for it was fun in bags, and a pretty fair approximation of our beloved game, in mechanics at least, if not in spirit.
Actually, the spirit was not far off – considering the manifold limitations of a single-player computer game, I think NWN made a pretty fair go of imitation D&D.
Others were less charitable – they bemoaned each of NWN’s departures from the game – they wanted to wield weapons without proficiency and they desired mounts and a full range of spells. They asked why only Bards were allowed ranks in perform, and why all the different Knowledge categories had been compressed into ‘Lore’.
You get the idea.
Well, It occurred to me to ask whether NWN is truly the lame duck that its detractors claim. Surely there must have been poorer D&D licences? Think back…
No, not Baldurs Gate, not Even Icewind Dale.
Come with me on a trip back through history.
Back, way back to when computer games came on chunky plastic rectangles and we thought hard about paying £14:99 for the latest release. We’ll see if any of the older games were really true to D&D…
We begin with Advanced Dungeons & Dragons: Pool of Radiance VOL. I on the NES.
AD&D:POR absolutely won the Origins Award for Best Fantasy or Science Fiction Computer Game of 1988 by golly. So we know it will be good.
The game begins with some jaunty 8-Bit music in a style which I believe is evocative of trying to stab a scurrying beetle with a stylophone stylus. Swiftly the copyright information fades ad we zoom in on a wall, but not just any wall, this one bares a poster.
It seems the good burghers of Keesh – erm, sorry, Phlan, (I knew it was some sort of miss-spelled egg-based foodstuff) are in need of heroes. This sounds like a job for Azezel!
I’ll admit I don’t know the Forgotten Realms all that well, but I cannot bring to mind the details of Phlan…
Never-mind, It’s time to get my Hero on.
The Game comes with three pre-made heroes for those impatient for the kill, a Fighter, a Cleric and a MU – which is apparently short for ‘Magic-User’. All are Human Males – they’re probably white too. It’s racist man… Or something.
Well, No computer game is going to hand me a pre-generated character. I selected 'Make' and was presented with this!
And This!
I wanted to play a Halfling MU, but as you can see, That was not allowed – instead I opted for a Half-Elf Fighter/Wizard. I think I’m going to regret that in time…
Immediately upon selecting this Race/Class combo I am prompted to select an Alignement. Lawful Good it is – for all ‘round style and effectiveness you cannot beat LG.
The very moment I choose my alignment the game rolls some abilities and assigns them where it feels they will be best. At this point it asks me if this is okay. Well, Actually those are some good numbers – so I suppose I will go with them, although I’m beginning to feel like this guy is just another pre-gen. I mean, I didn’t really choose my race or class, and I’ve just had a set of stats forced on me, without even a say in where they go. I didn’t even get to chose a picture, and he’s an ugly son of a bitch, ain’t he?
Never-mind. We shall soldier on.
I choose my character’s name (for a moment I feared this would be denied me) and the game asks whether it should put Usul (for it is he) into the game world.
By all means…
Here he is then.
Uh-oh… THAC0???
Poor Azezel has never played 2e! What’s a THAC0? Actually, I have picked up a little of the concept – as I understand it, that is the number I must roll to hit an AC of 0. So all I have to do is roll a never ending number of Nat 20’s. No Problem. And look at that AC and HP! Blimey – I don’t know what sort of HD a FI/MU gets, but I’ve got a CON and a DEX of 16 – surely that must count for something.
8hp?
I’m going to die. I hope that there is some gnarled and arcane rule in 2e that makes this hp make sense.
Never-mind, press on. Usul, your time has come.
I select Usul as my first character and click ‘Begin Adventure’.
Begin Adventure! Now there is a phrase I can work with.
Immediately Usul rolls up at Keesh, Phlan, and a local johnny is there to greet him.
Apparently.
I take it back, Usul is bloody good looking compared to ‘Rolf’…
Note how the cunning 'four shades of mud' screen-theme continues from the menus into the actual game.
Rolf leads me into the, erm, ‘city’ and gives me a lighting speed tour of the place. For those of you who have never visited Keesh let me describe it, Every single wall in the city is made of blue bricks, every door is made of yellow, erm, something and every road is mage of brown something else. It is entirely unnavigable. I’m certain there are people who have lived there all their lives and still cannot find their homes save by blind chance. It would take a GPS receiver and the entire staff of the Ordinance Survey to locate the pub on three tries or less.
Inevitably I found myself looking for City Hall – Rolf had hinted that I might find paid employment there. As you can see, it took me a while to find the place. Inside City Hall every corridor is as anonymous as every street without. This could take some time.
In time I locate a Clark.
If the other citizens of the city are anything to go by, I imagine this Clerk is considered a ‘looker’. Naturally I was not owed a reward, since I had never been there before in my life. The little hottie told me that I had done nothing special – frankly I think I deserved xp just for finding the place – and then issued me a mission
No Problemmo… She also instructed me to track down some overdue Library books before Keesh Municipal Library fined her. I spend an entertaining two minutes blundering around City Hall getting growled at by invisible guards in front of identical locked doors before stumbling, by lucky accident, into the street.
I wander off, looking for the Slums, which is where I am to find this Keep place, or so it seems. I make a brief, but not unpleasant, return visit to the Temple of Tyr (I seem to find myself in the Temple of Tyr about once out of every three doors I try – by now I am on first name terms with the Cleric on greeting duty).
After wandering in to the Inn again (and asking about the grandchilderen of the old lady behind the counter – for I am now an old friend of hers, I’ve been in there so often) I accidentally find an arms shop.
I purchase a set of Banded Mail and a Trident – since I think Usul will be more of a Fi than a MU. The equipment screen gives me some more insight into the 2e rules, for donning the armour makes my AC drop to 2! Evidently a low AC is good, for some reason.
Still no help on that THAC0…
In any event, I am still desperately looking for the Slums – and it’s not often one can say that. Whilst fiddling with the menu I discover a map of the area.
As you can see, it is spectacularly unuseful, since it lacks a key or legend. Through my explorations I find a Tavern. If you look at the clock you will see that I discovered the map at six o’clock, but even with this cartographical aid, I wandered for another six hours without finding the Slums. By this time the Temple of Tyr have taken me on as a lay preacher, since I am there more than most Clerics. I decide to see if there is any gossip to be heard in the bar.
I innocently select the ‘Listen to Gossip’ option, and what do a I get for my troubles?
Well apparently there is a Silver Dragon in the North, and some sewers under the city, and, Argh!!!!
Ha! He shall taste my Trident!
Ha ha ha… He missed! My mighty Banded Mail is too tough for that puny… Er, wait, does that say Level four Fighter? As in, four times my own level?
No, Serriously?
No, it’s not actually a level four Fighter, It’s six Level Four fighters! (I am the little blue chap)
The rest of the LEVEL FOUR FIGHTERS attack, and two hit.
And that’s it…
Not convinced that this could be an accurate representation of the game, I rolled up (well, I picked and the computer rolled) a Dwarf Fighter. The whole thing was eerily similar up until the Tavern. My Dwarf - Turron got a sixth-sense warning not to listen to Gossip and instead headed back to the streets, where he visited the Temple of Tyr a few more times (they were holding a vigil for some chap names Usul) and then discovered, quite by chance the entry to the Slums.
Presently.
At this point I surrendered to Pool of Radiance. I don’t know what happens if one can eradicate the monsters in the Slums, in fact, I doubt SSI ever bothered to create any game beyond the Keesh slums – I mean, what would be the point? No-one will ever see it.
Fun Rating 1/10
AD&D:POR is annoying to see and hear, every single wall in a given environment is the same as every other, just as each door is a clone of its fellows, navigation is impossible, map or no, and the impossibility of the fights means there is no point in trying to go anywhere.
D&D Rating 10/10
Assuming D&D stands for Dire & Dstupid… Otherwise: 2/10
Tune in Next time for Advanced Dungeons & Dragons: Dragonlance – Hereos of the Lance
Are you as excited as I am?
In fact I’m not very excited at all – there is no way on Obad Hai’s green earth my box will run the game, so there’s not much point in breathless anticipation – I suppose I will wait five years (by which time I may have a better computer) and pick it up on one of the bargain labels.
In any event, I recall the cross words which were traded regarding NWN. Some (your humble obedient included) liked NWN a great deal – for it was fun in bags, and a pretty fair approximation of our beloved game, in mechanics at least, if not in spirit.
Actually, the spirit was not far off – considering the manifold limitations of a single-player computer game, I think NWN made a pretty fair go of imitation D&D.
Others were less charitable – they bemoaned each of NWN’s departures from the game – they wanted to wield weapons without proficiency and they desired mounts and a full range of spells. They asked why only Bards were allowed ranks in perform, and why all the different Knowledge categories had been compressed into ‘Lore’.
You get the idea.
Well, It occurred to me to ask whether NWN is truly the lame duck that its detractors claim. Surely there must have been poorer D&D licences? Think back…
No, not Baldurs Gate, not Even Icewind Dale.
Come with me on a trip back through history.
Back, way back to when computer games came on chunky plastic rectangles and we thought hard about paying £14:99 for the latest release. We’ll see if any of the older games were really true to D&D…
We begin with Advanced Dungeons & Dragons: Pool of Radiance VOL. I on the NES.
AD&D:POR absolutely won the Origins Award for Best Fantasy or Science Fiction Computer Game of 1988 by golly. So we know it will be good.
The game begins with some jaunty 8-Bit music in a style which I believe is evocative of trying to stab a scurrying beetle with a stylophone stylus. Swiftly the copyright information fades ad we zoom in on a wall, but not just any wall, this one bares a poster.
It seems the good burghers of Keesh – erm, sorry, Phlan, (I knew it was some sort of miss-spelled egg-based foodstuff) are in need of heroes. This sounds like a job for Azezel!
I’ll admit I don’t know the Forgotten Realms all that well, but I cannot bring to mind the details of Phlan…
Never-mind, It’s time to get my Hero on.
The Game comes with three pre-made heroes for those impatient for the kill, a Fighter, a Cleric and a MU – which is apparently short for ‘Magic-User’. All are Human Males – they’re probably white too. It’s racist man… Or something.
Well, No computer game is going to hand me a pre-generated character. I selected 'Make' and was presented with this!
And This!
I wanted to play a Halfling MU, but as you can see, That was not allowed – instead I opted for a Half-Elf Fighter/Wizard. I think I’m going to regret that in time…
Immediately upon selecting this Race/Class combo I am prompted to select an Alignement. Lawful Good it is – for all ‘round style and effectiveness you cannot beat LG.
The very moment I choose my alignment the game rolls some abilities and assigns them where it feels they will be best. At this point it asks me if this is okay. Well, Actually those are some good numbers – so I suppose I will go with them, although I’m beginning to feel like this guy is just another pre-gen. I mean, I didn’t really choose my race or class, and I’ve just had a set of stats forced on me, without even a say in where they go. I didn’t even get to chose a picture, and he’s an ugly son of a bitch, ain’t he?
Never-mind. We shall soldier on.
I choose my character’s name (for a moment I feared this would be denied me) and the game asks whether it should put Usul (for it is he) into the game world.
By all means…
Here he is then.
Uh-oh… THAC0???
Poor Azezel has never played 2e! What’s a THAC0? Actually, I have picked up a little of the concept – as I understand it, that is the number I must roll to hit an AC of 0. So all I have to do is roll a never ending number of Nat 20’s. No Problem. And look at that AC and HP! Blimey – I don’t know what sort of HD a FI/MU gets, but I’ve got a CON and a DEX of 16 – surely that must count for something.
8hp?
I’m going to die. I hope that there is some gnarled and arcane rule in 2e that makes this hp make sense.
Never-mind, press on. Usul, your time has come.
I select Usul as my first character and click ‘Begin Adventure’.
Begin Adventure! Now there is a phrase I can work with.
Immediately Usul rolls up at Keesh, Phlan, and a local johnny is there to greet him.
Apparently.
I take it back, Usul is bloody good looking compared to ‘Rolf’…
Note how the cunning 'four shades of mud' screen-theme continues from the menus into the actual game.
Rolf leads me into the, erm, ‘city’ and gives me a lighting speed tour of the place. For those of you who have never visited Keesh let me describe it, Every single wall in the city is made of blue bricks, every door is made of yellow, erm, something and every road is mage of brown something else. It is entirely unnavigable. I’m certain there are people who have lived there all their lives and still cannot find their homes save by blind chance. It would take a GPS receiver and the entire staff of the Ordinance Survey to locate the pub on three tries or less.
Inevitably I found myself looking for City Hall – Rolf had hinted that I might find paid employment there. As you can see, it took me a while to find the place. Inside City Hall every corridor is as anonymous as every street without. This could take some time.
In time I locate a Clark.
If the other citizens of the city are anything to go by, I imagine this Clerk is considered a ‘looker’. Naturally I was not owed a reward, since I had never been there before in my life. The little hottie told me that I had done nothing special – frankly I think I deserved xp just for finding the place – and then issued me a mission
No Problemmo… She also instructed me to track down some overdue Library books before Keesh Municipal Library fined her. I spend an entertaining two minutes blundering around City Hall getting growled at by invisible guards in front of identical locked doors before stumbling, by lucky accident, into the street.
I wander off, looking for the Slums, which is where I am to find this Keep place, or so it seems. I make a brief, but not unpleasant, return visit to the Temple of Tyr (I seem to find myself in the Temple of Tyr about once out of every three doors I try – by now I am on first name terms with the Cleric on greeting duty).
After wandering in to the Inn again (and asking about the grandchilderen of the old lady behind the counter – for I am now an old friend of hers, I’ve been in there so often) I accidentally find an arms shop.
I purchase a set of Banded Mail and a Trident – since I think Usul will be more of a Fi than a MU. The equipment screen gives me some more insight into the 2e rules, for donning the armour makes my AC drop to 2! Evidently a low AC is good, for some reason.
Still no help on that THAC0…
In any event, I am still desperately looking for the Slums – and it’s not often one can say that. Whilst fiddling with the menu I discover a map of the area.
As you can see, it is spectacularly unuseful, since it lacks a key or legend. Through my explorations I find a Tavern. If you look at the clock you will see that I discovered the map at six o’clock, but even with this cartographical aid, I wandered for another six hours without finding the Slums. By this time the Temple of Tyr have taken me on as a lay preacher, since I am there more than most Clerics. I decide to see if there is any gossip to be heard in the bar.
I innocently select the ‘Listen to Gossip’ option, and what do a I get for my troubles?
Well apparently there is a Silver Dragon in the North, and some sewers under the city, and, Argh!!!!
Ha! He shall taste my Trident!
Ha ha ha… He missed! My mighty Banded Mail is too tough for that puny… Er, wait, does that say Level four Fighter? As in, four times my own level?
No, Serriously?
No, it’s not actually a level four Fighter, It’s six Level Four fighters! (I am the little blue chap)
The rest of the LEVEL FOUR FIGHTERS attack, and two hit.
And that’s it…
Not convinced that this could be an accurate representation of the game, I rolled up (well, I picked and the computer rolled) a Dwarf Fighter. The whole thing was eerily similar up until the Tavern. My Dwarf - Turron got a sixth-sense warning not to listen to Gossip and instead headed back to the streets, where he visited the Temple of Tyr a few more times (they were holding a vigil for some chap names Usul) and then discovered, quite by chance the entry to the Slums.
Presently.
At this point I surrendered to Pool of Radiance. I don’t know what happens if one can eradicate the monsters in the Slums, in fact, I doubt SSI ever bothered to create any game beyond the Keesh slums – I mean, what would be the point? No-one will ever see it.
Fun Rating 1/10
AD&D:POR is annoying to see and hear, every single wall in a given environment is the same as every other, just as each door is a clone of its fellows, navigation is impossible, map or no, and the impossibility of the fights means there is no point in trying to go anywhere.
D&D Rating 10/10
Assuming D&D stands for Dire & Dstupid… Otherwise: 2/10
Tune in Next time for Advanced Dungeons & Dragons: Dragonlance – Hereos of the Lance
posted by Anonymous at
3:55 PM
1 Comments:
*GROAN* I remember that game...ugh, it sucked...Dragonlance is even worse...I think the closest game to D&D was Final Fantasy 1, they even had mindflayers in it.
Good Article I look forward to another
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